its 22nd of february 2008 today..a day in tis whole yr which only belongs 2me..which s so special 2me..which happen ONCE in tis year..its a special date 222..i love numb 2 aso of today..2 represents u r not alone,u r not 1 n only..bt u hvin sum1 bside u accompany u pas thru up's n down's in life..2 represents u hv two choice to choose which gv u mr chances mr varieties mr advantage compare to 1..2 represents 1 person combine wif another person bcums 2person in unity..2 also represents one single person wif another single person n unites bcum a sweety lovely xinfu couple..22/2 represents..my bday!im not a famous person,im not a special person in tis world..im jz a simple young gal who jz turn 18 who jz started a brand new life over in australia who faces diff ppl diff environemnt,learnin to b independant who misses al her family relatives frens n..*him* especially over in msia who hv lot hopes dreams n wishes in her life..a simple gal bt special in d eyes of God + family + frens + *him*..22/2 s my burfday,d day which i was given birth fr my dearly mum's stomach thru operation,around 1.38pm i thk..dun reli rmb wat time dy,haha~its charis ng waon xin's bday today..its a hapi fun wonderful day bt i cried for reli longs hrs..since it passes 00:00 on 22/2!

aw~it so cloudy gloomy here in melbourne today,it even rains jz nw!i jz hope,lovely bright sun would jz glimpse n shine towards me thru d muffy fluffy blackie clouds!cz i kinda nd it nw..to jz shine away my sadness n hurt n painsss n most importantly my cries n tears..my eyes s reli tired n exhausted..im beggin to my tears to stop fallin fr my eyes..bt dey wouldnt listen,its seems like dey r connected to my heart,cz i cry even badly inside my heart~ dey jz naturally flows out fr ur heart to ur eyes as u close ur eyes..dey jz simply mk ur pillows teddy wet..dey jz simply mk u use lots n lots of tissues..dey jz simply mk u cant even zZ eventhough u tried vry vry hard,u r vry tired bt u stil fel awake til 6 in d morning..dey cn jz mk u awake again after u slept for around 3hrs only..dey jz mk ur eyes sox2 sad sox2 tired sox2 exhausted bt..u jz cant zZ..u jz..cant sleep even huggin ur favourite pillow n teddy..dey jz mk u hide inside d blanket n cry without sound as u worry dat ur bro might hear dem~ dey jz mk u wanna cry out loud when it comes to an extend dat..you cannot tk it anymr..and in coincidence your brother is not there..you REALI cry out loud to ur pillow wif tears falling out like river fr ur eyes..tissues r jz everywhere in ur room..tears s jz everywhere..tears even..fall right now while i writing tis..dey jz like d rain today over here in melbourne..a lil tiny smal rain..den stops..den cums again wif big rain..n stops..n cums a moderate rain..jz goes on n off~ u jz..cant stop it..u jz cant..

im hearing a song at colonel's profile in friendster~ i love dat song,cz it jz kind of accompany me rite nw at tis moment which im alone crying here infront of d laptop..its a song which reli means lot to me,which its so sweet so nice til u wil fal in luv wif it..its a song which s send by sum1 most important in my heart to me..its a song who shows me sum1 feelings towards me!

..........im blank nw in mind,cz i duno wat to write sumore..cz im crying badly nw~ pls do forgive me lil eyes..i duno hw to control my tears!i hope my frens dun realise abt my eyes later..cz i reli crying for LONG HRS..n u cn definately imagine hw my eyes looks like nw!hm,i jz slept around 3hrs..vry tired..whole person tired bt u jz cant fal zZ when lyin on bed!wandering hw am i gonna do my presentation later durin d music workshop later in college..i wil jz *smile* to everyone later..im gd at acting i thk,so i thk i cn jz lie everyone without letting dem knw my situation~ bt..later im goin 2 hv diner wif my frens + bro for my bday..hw m i goin to hide my eyes my tears?wel,mayb on d way walkin to college,d cold wind n moody clouds would blow me afresh n stop thkin n crying..i hope so~ reli wana thx my dearly parents who ask me to bring afew frens together to hv a diner,dey wil pay 4 d bill!dey ask bro to sign credit card,aw..i love my mum my dad..dey reli love me lots..

hm,i might jz go find thgs to do~ like clean up o oters..jz nw i cooked lunch for myself,n i cn jz stop crying for a while while cooking..its a gd idea to find smtg to do..bt haha,based on my experience u canot ask urself to study at tis moment,cz it doesnt workds..it might works ABIT..hm,wel..jz go find thgs do nw..i reli duno hw im gonna gv a break for my tears..wandering..

with a glimpse,spm dy passed by 1wk..1suffering wk..aww~reli felt so hapi so relieved on wed cz finaly finish d 1st wk..bt..hmm..here i go again..tomorow starts d war wk again..i cant stop d war nw eventhou i felt tired bored frustrated..i duno y..felt scared too..mayb cz i din reli prepare well ba,i reli learnt my lesson tis time..bt hmm,there's no one seems to believ me dat i din prepare well for my spm..xbody wil believe charis ng s not well prepared except jia chun,yik sin n freak kor..aha,mayb cz dey r d one most close to my heart n mind n soul ba,haha..cannot thk hw would my days months years b without dem,ehe..

hmm..sumtimes do reli wonder cant charis ng gt a B in exam??y shud i b d one who must get FULL A's??im x A student..im x hardworking student..no im not!!!bt..oters dun seem to believ..aha..aiyo,dun k la..shoo shoo~ now important s fight my war..surely wif God's guidance n k..i knw i knw he s there for me watchin me 24hours..open his ears for my crys..i knw i do my best n he wil tk k d rest..i knw i do d possible n he wil do d impossible..cz..i believe..yeap..even jz a small mustard seed faith..dy cn move a huge mountain..i reli learn to grow my faith mr during tis exam period..dats a sweet wonderful amazing thg i get thru tis stressful hatred exam..haha..i reli learnt lot abt Him..read my bible everyday learn n gain his words n comfort n love n care=) i knw..i knw he wil surely tk k of me..cz he is never distant nor detached from all the trials i face..NEVER!tis i vry sure..cz i've experienced it myself before..ehe..

oh wel..tomolo having addmath papers..wed s physic..thurs s chemistry while fri s moral..a reli stressful tough wk..charis ng,GOx3..gambate~~jiayou o..oh Lord,please strengthen me up,let me not to know the meaning of tiredness o stressful o any negative words lord..please do tk k guide me while im studying n answering d papers..let me have d fun enjoy hapi feel all day long

k la,gt to go do my final revision for add math den continue study my physics..buBbyeeee..

nwadays feel like im dreamin passin everyday..cz reli fel bored sienz o~especially when go sch,cz tis few days aso kp on sit 4d super boring diagnostic test set by governm,seriously..all of us jz simply do,lolx..i like tis ans so i circle d ans,hahaha..tis s d 1st time i cn sit 4a paper in a super short time,thk within20 minutes we dy finish whole paper,haha..today rain heavily,aw~reli so coolin so nice o..bt noti me sick dy,hvin soar throat n flu nw,lolx..my voice chg cz of d noti flu virus,blek,haha..fel my voice quite funny=P

tis few days,my mood of study reli so low..so so low..hm,kp on tel myself cant lidat!charis reli cant lidat!my trials result x reli dat gud..fel quite dissapointed at myself..bt..hmm..WHERE S MY MOOD OF STUDYING??WHERE U GO??hmm..findin findin..gox3..mz studyx3..x wn let anybody to fel dissapointed at me including myself..so i hv to study..jz tahan few mr months..n *tada* spm wil finish n i cn hv lotsss fun after dat=) so nw d most important job s to study..study as much as i can..hugsss dady in heaven..protect help guide me o dady..let me fel hapi let me enjoy while study..

i have a reli deep feelin n learn smtg dat i never had b4 last week..smtg dat i get fr dady in heaven..tel bloggie later when i gt mood to write it out ya..hehehe..me nw wn go wash off my mask n bteeth n do PIGGY..muahaha..my fav thg to do at home s SLEEP..lalala..enjoy sleeping,hehe..oh ya..haPpy moOncAke fesTivaL to all my frensss o..smil3 m hapi oways

aw,sud fel wanna write out smtg wat i saw jz nw in a tv program..me n mum were watchin a erm..hw to say le,a program abt chinese traditional medication thg..normaly it jiu show lot those ppl at china hw dey cure fr sickness,n hw to maintain gd health gd body gd looks gd skin blax2..hw to leave a gd healty lifestyle,ehe..thru food exercise n oters..dey al wil explain thru chinese medical thingy,i reli duno hw describe o explain,hehe..i learn quite lot thru tis channel=) den today dey were showing n tellin a twins bro story..aw,touch o~

wel,tis twins bro,dey gt a kind of sickness,duno wat name in eng..their muscle wil slowly deteriotiate n x functionin..den d respiratory system muscle (breathing system) wil slowly x function n at last tis patient wil die..there s x cure x help for tis type of patients..lot doc n professor tld tis twins's mum dat his son wil die at 18years old..dey gt tis disease around 9yrs old lidat..bt miracle happen in tis family..d mum never gv up o..she tot of her own way force her sons to exercise walk message n lot oter thgs EVERYDAY!!i reli respect tis aunty..reli so respcect..she reli put uncountable effort mind n strength in both her son..everyday nonstop do d same thg wif her sons,exercise wif dem n lot mr oters..watever she do aso tryin her best to save both her beloved precious sons..even a group of WHO medical ppl aso go n visit tis family n gv help..cz reli never happen b4 dat tis kind of patient would live in tis world for so long..mean jiu cn fight wif tis disease for 10+ yearsss..normaly tis kind of patient pass away vry fast..cant live for a loong time,bt miracle reli do hapen in tis family..their spirit their soul..their semangat n lots more..encourage me lots..seriously a,tis world reli super lots thgs worse den our situation which we tot reli bad reli charm..i met lot thgs especialy tis year..mayb a person grew up,mind mr mature,c thgs aso wider..i reli see lot thgs..n felt..i shud b thankful shud b grateful..wat i hvin nw,s jz a smal prob a smal circumstances compare to oters..shud appreciate shud live my life meaninfully..

hmm..sud i tel out smthg to mum.."ma,u shud c tis story.."mum look at me for a few seconds..n ask y..i tld her"see ppl never gvup even hv tis kind of sick n prob..u oways aso thk negative even jz bit thg"..mum jz kp quiet.. hmm..i duno y sud wil say out tis words..in my heart..i knw..since mum has pas thru dat most most diff most worse most dark most down most sad most unsecure months in her live..her heart n mind had been covered up by smtg dark..smtg unsecure smtg dat would mk her weak x strength cry n lots mr..althou nw her life s shine by god's love god's bright sun..bt yet..whenever thgs hapen,mum's spirit n soul wil weaken bit..mayb cz wat had hapen in her life influence her super lots..she reli easy cry easy thk negative..her negative thkin cn jz easily *poof* within 1second..she nd super lot love n care from us..i knw dat..althou normaly she like vry strong determine independant firm lady..bt..actualy mum s x dat strong..she depends on dad on me on bro super duper lotss..duno hw to explain..as her daughter..i jz knw it..i jz cn fel it..huGggiezzz ma..i knw dady in heaven never leave my mum,tk gd care love my mum..gt dady in heaven..i knw i x nd wori so much..he wil tk reli gd k of my beloved mum~~muacksSss~~

hoOraY~ehe..finaly..i had finished my bio n chemistry trial papers,lalala..soOo hapi le..althou,haha..i knw my result wil reli bad,cz x well prepared..nw jz left chinese paper nxt wed o!go go go charis=) gues wat,my mood was so hapi so good when i sit for the last paper of bio..bt sud,adui..mr looi (my physic teacher) came in to d hall n mk an announcement..he tld us dat government s goin to gv us a diagnostic test on bio physic chemistry..there wil b 3papers of 3 different chapters..YOR..so taoyan le..ppl soOo soOOo hapi cz trials finally reachin d end dy,sud gt test sumore pula..bt lolx..me n my frens reli soOo noti,cz we dy sat lot diagnostic test b4 since lz time cz we are d 1st batch usin eng in +math,physic bio n chemistry..dats y v r like white mice4governement,aha..those test r like analyse smtg lidat..wont b recored in our report card..so..erm..we decided..not to sit for those useless test,muahaha..cz we aso x goin to sch unless we have papers to sit for trials..if not we wil not go to sch..bt mr looi tld us mz go to sch everyday startin fr tomolo cz whenever gt bio chemistry o physic periods,our respective teachers wil gv us d test,aha..noti us decide to ponteng,x goin to sit for those test..bluek=P if reli nd sit aso jz simply do ba,hahaha..hmm..i reli fel fedup of books nw..reli surrender of exams..hmm..fel exhausted fel tired fel my body battery s super low nw..nd a recharge..n i must b fully prepared n recharge b4 november which my spm s goin to start..aih aih..x wn thk 1st..i reli must hardworking work hard for my cumin spm dy..reli must do so..sumore i promise to myself n dady,ehe=)

spm real timetable has cum out..i hv exam til 4/12 lo..a war s waitin for me,haha..seriously,hm..i reli wanna do well tis time in my spm..reli wn do well..i heard my parents conversation durin dinner..i knw dey have lot thgs to worried n thk about for their business..hmm,vry complicated..n im indeed shock to knw such thgs..duno y,after hearin their conversation..in my heart..i reli determines to study hard..reli study hard score well..i dun wanna b a big load for my parents,dun wan dem to wori abt me,dey hv too much thgs to wori..hope i cn score wel n even gt a scholarship..n my studies wouldnt cz dem loadsss of money..i knw dad s gonna build a warehouse which would cz millions..n surely dad s gonna tk loan fr bank..n hmmm..if im goin to aus 4my furthur studies,surely cost super lots..but my mum tld me not to wori about money..just concentrate on my studies..hmm..i knw n im reli thankful dat god has put me in this reli good special family..im born to knw JESUS..tis s d most valuable thgs in my life..n my family cn say..quite good condition family compare to oters..i reli grateful n thankful..dats y i kp on tel myself to learn to appreciate mr d thgs around me..im reli a blessed gal..dats y i reli dun wanna mk my parents disappointed..reli a strong determination deep down my heart telling me must reli work hard..study hard..i reli feel wanna hug my dad n mum..duno y..bt i didnt do so cz,ehe..i never do so b4,hahaha..jz reli reli feel sry towards mum cz i'd argued n hv cold war v her for almost a month..actualy without realising..my parents position in my heart s reli so high so important..even my bro..which hahaha..i oways argue wif..aso reli so so important for me..dat s y its cal family rite?ehe..when i heard my bro have sum lungs prob n fal sick..which may lead to a serious sick..n my parents wouldnt wanna gv me any futher information cz dun wan me to wori while im sitting for my trials..i reli broke to tears..heart break into pieces..reli so so wori of my bro..my one n only beloved bro..althou we are not close good bro n sis..we dun even talk our personal thgs which i hope so since small..cz of our age gap(5years) can say..we never talk to each other like chatting wif frens..cn say..never..haha..seriously i've been dreamin of bein super close v my bro..jz like erm..isaac n aletheia..dey cn chat thru phone for super long time like couples,hahaha..cn talk chat like frens..bt..hmm..me n my bro are like..there s a huge wall between us..hard to crawl over..bt yet we knw we love each other..we care for each other..we appreciate each other=) i knw tis since he went to aus,ehe..cz..i started to mis him,muahaha..bt when he cum bck,hope he faster go bck aus,hahahahaha..noti me=P in conclusion,i reli dun wanna mk my family members sad o disappointed o wori..my parents put big n great hope on me..furthermore,hahaha..i aso set a high goal for myself..adui..which at d end,gv me myself super lots pressure..my mum din gv me any pressure since erm..standard 4,ehe..cz she knw she x nd to wori abt my studies..i wil study by myself..so hmm..i aso fel dat..all d pressure i get during exams..s me gv to myself de,aha..bt i learn to control learn to handle d pressure tis 2years=) chg mindset chg thking chg d level of pressure,ehe..bt haha,x mater hw,pressure stil ll hv..mum say im sum1 who chasing after perfection..frens aso say so..sumtimes i aso fel so=P means like watever i do..aso mz atleast try my very best to do it d best...ehe..n mz aso neat tidy clean blax2,lolx..aihzz..x mater wat..charis ng..gox3..gambate~jiayou~ n most importantly..SMILE=)

oh ya..hehe..my cousin bro(tecki) n aunty uncle fr germany s cumin bck o!hehe..im quite excited bt bit scare to meet my cousin bro..cz erm thk around 4years din meet him le,haha..normaly aso contact n chat n meet wif cy (tecki's sis..my cousin sis) im more close wif her compare to him,ehe..bt among other cousin,im quite close wif him dats y d responsibility of accompanyin him go here play go there blax2 comes to me..althou..my mum aso wil b there aunty al aso la..bt mum jz nw tld me,he s goin to stay at my hse nxt tues!he comin to msia 1st by himself..after few days,aunty uncle only come cz he wanna play longer at msia,haha..he long time din cum bck dy,surely mis all d foods here,lolx..me tis cousin bro superb like foods..hahaha..n mum ask me to bring him go club swimming..go here go there..ask me plan programmes..i was like "har..aiyo"lolx..i duno wan plan wat le..nvm la,mum wil help plan,lolx..i jz accompany cn dy,hahaha..mayb nxt fri wil go cameron highland wif cousin bro n parents..mum wanna bring him go c c look look n for holz too..cz he x go b4..mum ask me to go together too althou at 1st i rejected..bt c hw 1st la,cz al aso x yet confirm!u knw la,cameron highland..erm..quite boring place..gt its fun bt i've went there lot times dy le,hahaha..wandering hw does he looks like nw?stil dat big size o even more big size?hahahahaha...noti noti me=P i cal him "fei gai" (fat chicken) hahaha..i n his sis cal him lidat since smal,hehe..he seriously s a super duper PEMALU..easy paiseh le..dats y til nw he stil cant get gf althou he s erm..22years old!lolx..mum ask me to introduce sum gal frens to him..i aso laughing there..saying"hw cn wor.."lolx..cum on,ppl dy 22years old le..sumore introduce my gal frens to him meh??he sure wil blush into red apples,hahaha..sumore adui..language prob n oter stuffs..i tld mum.."you're kdg izit..x nd gua,lolx" mum aso laugh=P

dad s flyin to indonesia tomolo early in d morning o..go for shell meeting..gonna mis him*huGgiezZzz* dady..love ya=) hmM,gues wat im thkin nw??thkin hw to mk sum1 hapi..x felin so stress..tryin to tam encourage pei..bt i duno hw le..i knw d feelin of stress..as im super duper best fren wif noti mr stress,lolx..bt i duno hw mk d person fel beter..fel x so stress..x mater hw surely wil hv stress jz depends lil stress o super lot stress..hmm..stil thkin..thkin fr jz nw til nw le,hahaha..aiyo..duno wat cn i do tim..jz jiu cn pei chat lo..hope..later thru chating..d person wil fel beter..wif my laughter n joy n smile n erm..cheerful voice..hahahaha=P dats wat i cn do nw..*stil thkin,ehe*

oOopsss..i reli write vry long hor??aiyo..reli like old grandma talking grandpa stories,haha..laughin at mysel pula,blek,ehe..okie la,write til here 1st..tata bloggie..wil cum find u sooner o later,ehehe..muackssss..

haha..woW~me reli super long x update dy,sry ya guys..ehe..welL,nw busy wif my trial which i reli super x like,ahaha..actualy mainly cz i din reli prepare myself for tis exam..din study n hardworking for tis trial..noti me shud gt punish n learn a lesson,aha..cz i thk tis time,my result wil b reli..aha..bad=P bt i aso tried my best..study as much as i could..reli wanna thx colonel o~cz supported encourage pei me pass thru tis few weeks..ur msg ur cal..reli s worthless..x price cn buy dem..cz dey r reli precious for me..i wil kp my promise de o..wil tk gd k of myself..x mk u wori *winks* i stil left bio chemistry n chinese papers..adui~til nw stil havent study..x dare thk wat wil hapen later d nxt few days..jiu reli trust god cz i knw he wil stengthens my heart..he wil tk k of me..

reli wanna appreciate n thx freak kor kor..my one n only bestest kaikor in my life..fel he reli s a gift from dady in heaven for me..reli jiu like my real bro for me o..freak kor..reli THX THX super lotsSss o..appreciate n thx u fr deep down of my heart..he supports encourage n cares for me lotss..everytime whenever i met sum diff situations o circumstances..i cn gt super lot advices n wil fel lot comfortable n peace n hapi after chat wif him..smtg hapen b4 my trial exam starts..which..hmm..cn say..smtg dat mk me fel so pain so hurt so down so sad..dat i never felt b4..jz all of a sudden tis thg happen..jiu jz *poof* lidat hapen..til i duno wat shud i do hw shud i face it n oters..sud all blur..cry d whole day..cant even study..even my mum aso realise about it..cz she cum in to my room while i chating phone wif freak kor crying..n i lie to her,i tld her cz exam pressure cai cry de..n ask freak kor to pray for me..my mum knws freak kor..hmm..d pain s hard to describe..no words cn describe i thk..try hard to stop cryin..kp on force myself study..force myself to hapi n smile..bt..tis makes me cry even more worse at d end til i cant stand it n burst out..aha..especially when i receive freak kor's cal..reli 100%burst out my tears my sadness my hurt my pain..seriously,hahaha..i jz cry out personally 1 to 1 infront of erm..3person b4..vry ngam s,al 3 aso reli vry important person in my life=) 1 of dem s freak kor..which s on dat day lo,haha..jiu reli cry vry geng dat type..til i cn jz kp on cry while he jz quiet himself at d oter end..wait me cool down bit cai start to talk,haha..aiyo paiseh~ehe..reli reli felt lot beter..smile laugh n stop cryin while talkin phone v him..he reli gv me lot support n encouragement..gv me lot comfort to my heart dat s so pain so hurt..at d end of our conversation..he prayed for me=) felt reli lot lot beter..i reli cn fel dady in heaven touches my heart..comforting my heart..loving my heart..take k of my heart which s broken hurt n pain..reli cn fel d love fel from god..i knw he love me..jz like i love him..i believ he wil tk gd care of me.."for i knw d plans i have 4u"declares d lord,"plans to prosper u not to harm u,plans to giv u hope n a future" (jer29:11) i wont let anyone or anythg to pull me down,cz tis s d day dat the lord has made n i wil rejoice in it =)

dady in heaven reli hears my prayers..he reli guide help protect me super lot especialy during my trials..i prayed everytime before i open my exam papers..n most importantly..d thg dat happen has been solve n settle wif laughter wif smile wif hug..n most importantly..wif love..my heart which s hurt n ful of pain..has cure..althou..not 100% bt i believ thru times..it wil 100% recover=) wil recover wif promise+care+hug+kis+shek n..LOVE..i stil hold on smtg in my hand firmly n tightly..never wana let go from my heart soul n mind..cz mayb i reli jolin tooo much..reli care tooo much..reli so so important for me..mayb cz like tis..i reli easily gt hurt..reli..so easy..hope my tears wont fal from my eyes cz sad..bt cz hapi,ehe..reli scare dy lo..seriosuly..reli scare dy,ehe..my heart..mayb reli too soft..til..i cant stand anymore if it s thrown once again from sky to ground..i send my heart to hospital lot times dy..bt tis time s most serious,ehe..bt *tada* me dy recover o..hehe..even more hapi more appreciate more mature den b4..ful of happiness love now..reli hapi n appreciate..bt aiyo,exam stil x yet over..haha..so wan faster shoOoo it away..so hope nw dy december,muahaha..den cn yiPpiee..hv fun=P me like smal kid..jz knw play only,hahaha..

oOops..nw dy 1 in d morning,i stil x yet sleep..plan go study while,ehe..bt den..scare i wil fal sleep accidentaly on bed,hahaha..me s super pigy type,ehe..i reli sleep very less during tis exam..one day mayb jz sleep 2-3hrs only,aha..sumore s continuos days tim..ehe..bt x wori..after exam..i wil sleep as much as possible,haha..

okie la...write til here 1st..dady in heaven..I LOVE U so so much..*jolin 2C 4eva* ~huGgiezZzzz~